Okay so it’s been a minute since my last blog, but I’m truly thankful to finally be on the downhill side of the cold weather (fingers crossed), and be able to say, HELLO, SPRING! For the most part, anyway.
Things move pretty fast this time of year with our broodmares foaling, the businesses are in full swing, plus this year we’re in super pursuit marketing mode for the stallions we purchased last fall. Which has been a real education all in itself. One where there is no such thing as staying ahead of the curve…I pretty much have all I can handle just catching up with the curve! So, as usual, a lot of other things that I had previously planned to either have finished by now, or at the very least be knee deep in the middle of, have been pushed back yet again.
Like decorating the house. Boy is that a sore subject. No, I haven’t gotten all my art and decor up on the walls, or any really. No, I haven’t gone to buy the rest of the furniture we need. And those cheap, make-do mirrors we picked up at Wal-Mart to use in the bathrooms until we could get real mirrors? Yep, still using them. Heck my big Christmas tree is still sitting in pieces on the floor in the living room because I can’t find a storage bag big enough to handle it. I guess if it sits there long enough it’ll soon be time to just put it back up….
There’s also summer vacation to make plans for—are we taking a family vacation, are we not? If so, where and for how long? First world problems, right? Lol
Which brings me to the newest level of anxiety that I’ve been introduced to recently…
My youngest child is graduating high school. Insert horrified face emoji here.
That’s right, my BABY, will be walking the stage in 60 days. I’m sure you’re asking yourself why this is such a big deal. I mean, I’ve known all along it was coming, right? Well the short answer is yes. But technically I was supposed to have another year to get prepared for this process. You see, this last Fall, he began what was supposed to be his Junior year. And I vaguely remember him mentioning that he was going to go ahead and take some of his Senior classes ahead of time so he could possibly graduate early. I remember hearing it, but I guess I just didn’t really believe he would actually do it. So periodically along the way, he’d casually throw out the idea of graduating this year, and I’d just say something to the effect of, “Okay, if you’re sure that’s what you want to do.” Still fully believing in my head that the possibility of it actually happening was small. Apparently, I was in denial.
Fast forward to last week. I made a trip to the school to have a conversation with his administrator about their upcoming Prom, and while I was there, I decided to get her take on his chances of graduating early. And while I wasn’t really surprised to hear that he has in fact completed the work load to make it happen, because we’ve always known what a genius the little turd is, but actually hearing the words come from her mouth was somewhat of a jolt. To say the least.
Actually, it was the spark that caused my anxiety to rocket off into another dimension. Note here that my concerns have nothing to do with my confidence in his abilities—I’m sure he’ll kill college just like every other challenge he’s undertaken. No, my concerns are 100% selfish and I own that. No one really sits you down when you’re the parent of a toddler and tells you that the Terrible Two’s that you think might be the worst part of parenting, isn’t even close. I’ve had similar moments before, when both of my girls graduated. But I suppose there’s some sort of tool built in to parents of multiple children that you can tap into when one leaves the nest. Like, as long as you still have at least one more at home, things haven’t really changed too much. Right? Well let me be the first to say that when faced with the looming prospect of the last one leaving, all those super-helpful insights go right out the window.
So, this is happening. For real. My baby is graduating high school. In the next week I’ll be turning in baby pictures for the slide show presentation and money for his cap and gown. Those college plans that I thought we were so far ahead on making…just became a priority. And that year I mentioned, the one I was supposed to be able to use to get used to the idea…no longer exists.
In actuality, I’m truly excited for him and he knows that. He’s on the verge of a life-changing adventure and he’s ready for it. And somehow, I have to find a way to make my peace with that. I will let go and he will fly, and he may or may not notice me watching from a distance, just in case he needs me. And whether or not he truly understands the why of it, he’ll feel safer and more confident because of it. And that’s all that matters. And yes, my eyes are filling with tears like a complete sap as I’m writing this, deal with it.
Staring down the full barrel of an empty nest, things like family vacation suddenly becomes even more important. Not that this will be the last vacation with my children—the other two have been on their own for a few years but they always seem to make time to go on vacation with us. I’m sure the youngest will be the same. Some perks extend well past adulthood, I guess.
For sure the next 2 months will be crazy—even crazier than usual. Because now, in addition to the new babies being born, mares that have to be re-bred, fires to be put out on a daily basis with the businesses…now, I have one more mountain to climb. So, if you see me around town looking a little…stressed….feel free to offer a cocktail, or a Xanax…or maybe just hit me in the head with a hammer… For sure keep those handy for graduation night.
In the meantime, I’ll be soaking up the warmer weather, playing with the new baby colts, and counting my blessings as I do every single day.
More adventures are coming and more memories will be made, that’s for sure! Maybe I’ll be prepared…probably not. I’m getting pretty familiar with my regular seat on the Struggle Bus—if they offered frequent flyer miles, I’d travel free the rest of my life lol.
For sure adulting is hard some times, but that’s why Happy Hour was invented. And I’ve got that one covered!
Happy Spring, everyone!